Crossroads Of Time
by SolidusRaccoon
Summary: My second Trek/RR story. This was inspired by stories from "The Slightly Warped Star Trek Website". On that sight they had Trek/Slider crossovers or Trek/X-Files crossovers so I decided to do one with the Rescue Rangers. I decided to use my favorite Trek show DS9. I wanted to make it a parody. I love DS9 but I also enjoy making jokes at it's expense. Or I would point out plot hole


This is a Rescue Ranger/ Star Trek Deep Space Nine crossover. Rescue Rangers are owned by Disney. And Star Trek is owned by Paramount. These copyrights are used without permission. So I hope there isn't going to be a Disney/ Paramount lawyer crossover.

Crossroads of Time

Starring

The DS9 Cast

The TNG Cast

The Rescue Rangers

Sam Beckett

The Terminator

Ripley

Aliens

EMH Program

And Jerry Mathers as "The Beaver"

[The setting is just outside out Rescue Ranger Headquarters. Gadget is working on a spaceshuttle similar to the one she built in *Out to launch* Chip walks up to her]

Chip: How's the shuttle coming along Gadget?

Gadget: Just fine Chip. It should be ready to launch in a few hours.

Chip: I can't believe we're actually going on a rescue mission to outer space.

Gadget: Well actually it's not our first time in outer space

Chip: Well this time we're all going up together as a team.

[Dale and Monterey come walking up to Chip and Gadget carrying some technical Parts.]

Dale: Here you are Gadget

Gadget: Thanks Dale. All I have to do now is install this and we should be ready to go

[A Russian mouse walks up to Monterey]

Pavel: You will be able to help my father?

Monterey: To right we will.

Dale: What's the place we're going called

Gadget: MIR it's a Russian space station

Chip: Don't worry we'll get your father safely back to Earth.

[On hour later. All the Rescue Rangers are in the spaceshuttle.]

Gadget: All systems go

[Gadget hits a switch witch ignites the rockets]

Chip: Hang on

[The spaceshuttle takes off. Within minutes it breaks earth's atmosphere. We can see the shuttle heading for the MIR space station]

Dale: Wow there it is

Monterey:[Looking back at the Earth] Crickey look at the view.

[Zipper is buzzing ecstatically. The Rangers turn to see what has got his attention. A small white object is seen of the port side of the shuttle. It flares open into the vortex from Sliders. The Rangers shuttle gets sucked into the vortex which closes behind them]

[DS9 opening sequence]

Commercial Break

Narrator: Next time on Star Trek Voyager

Tuvok: Captain I am detecting an unknown vessel heading directly for us.

Janeway: On screen

Paris: Captain? Is that a winabego

Narrator: Tune in this Wednesday and see what happens when Voyager meets Spaceballs.

End of Commercial

[We see Dax in OPS talking with Sisko. Miles O'Brien is working at one of the engineering stations]

Dax: So Ben what are you doing tonight?

Sisko: Jake is coming over I'm going to make jumbulia

Dax: Sounds good

Sisko: You can come over if you like Old Man

Dax: Thanks for the offer Ben, but Worf and I have plans

Sisko: I hope you alert Julian so he can be ready

Dax: Very funny. This from the man who threw his girlfriend in jail for six months.

Sisko: Hey she came back to me.

Dax: Speaking of jail how did Garak get out before Cassidy?

Sisko: An all knowing force that we can't question is responsible

Dax: You mean….

Sisko: Yes Rick Berman

[The console in front of Dax beeps]

Dax: Ben I'm reading weird emanations coming from the wormhole

Sisko: On screen

[We see the wormhole open and the Rangers shuttle comes tumbling out]

Sisko: What the hell is that

Riker: Hey baldy That's my line

Narrator: Riker what are you doing here. I didn't write you into this

Sisko: Excuse me

Riker: He stole my line

Narrator: Like I care? Now get out of my parody

Sisko: Excuse me!

Riker: Why should I listen to you

Narrator: Because I'm the writer and narrator

Riker: Well Whoopi Doo

Gunian: You called

Narrator: No Miss Goldberg

Gunian: Then I'll be leaving

Sisko: Excuse Me!

Narrator: Would you like me to tell Troi about the Gadget incident?

Riker: I'm just leaving all great and powerful narrator

Sisko: EXCUSE ME!

Narrator: What do you want?

Sisko: Have you forgotten about that weird ship that just came through the wormhole it could be a top secret Dominion weapon

Narrator: Thanks for reminding me

Dax: It appears to be a small spaceshuttle. I am detecting five life signs. I am also detecting a small hull breach. The hull will collapse in less then a minute.

Sisko: Chief beam them out now!

O'Brien: Aye sir

[The Rangers shuttle goes boom]

Sisko: Sisko to Bashir medical emergency. Prepare for guests doctor.

[Later in sick bay. Sisko, Dax, Bashir. Are gathered around a medical computer. The Rescue Rangers are unconscious on a medbed]

Bashir: Four of them appear to be mammalian native to Earth. The other an insect also native to Earth

Sisko: Of course you twit. Two chipmunks two mouses and a fly

Data: The correct term is mice

Sisko: Wrong series Mr. Data. What are you doing here?

Data: I am correcting your grammatical usage

Sisko: Well stop it

Data: Aye sir

Sisko: As I was saying it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there from earth.

Bashir: Since it was revealed that I was genetically enhanced I have to start talking in complex techno babble.

Sisko: Well what is the prognosis on our guests?

Bashir: I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian.

McCoy: I'm sick and tired of everyone ad libing that line.

Narrator: Dr. McCoy please be so kind as to leave my parody

Dax: They're coming around

[Dale is the first one to regain consciousness he looks at Sisko]

Dale: Hawk?

[Sisko hears this and goes into a frenzy. He grabs a phaser and pins Dale against the wall.]

Sisko: Don't ever mention that name again!

Dale: OK OK [under his breath] Spencer never acted like that

Gadget: What happened? Last thing a remember was a giant whirlpool.

Sisko: I am Captain Benjamin Sisko of the Bajoran-Federation space station Deep Space Nine.

Monterey Jack: That's quite a name you got there Captain Nine

Sisko: No. My name is Sisko. You are on Deep Space Nine

Gadget: Bajoran-Federation space station? Where are we?

Sisko: The station is located next to the only stable wormhole to exist. In the Bajoran sector.

Chip: How far are we from Earth?

Sisko: Several hundred light years

Gadget: Wait if we are on a space station that must mean we are in the future. What year is it.

Dax: Stardate 5178.4

Chip: What?

Sisko: In standard earth years the year is 2478

Gadget: How did we get here.

Sisko: That is what I would like to know

Chip: Hold it you're humans how can you understand us

Dax: Actually I'm a Trill a joined species. And to answer you question we have universal translators.

Sisko: Who are you?

Chip: We are the Rescue Rangers.

Dax: Say what?

Dale: We help animals in trouble. And we solve crimes.

Dax: Do you have names?

Monterey Jack: I'm Monterey Jack and this here is Zipper

Gadget: My name is Gadget Hackwrench

Chip: Chip Maplewood

Dale: Dale Oakhurst

[Chip looks at Dax and Bashir]

Chip: Who are you

Dax: I am Jadzia Dax

Bashir: My name is Julian Bashir

Sisko: Are you from the past?

Gadget: Yes, we are from the year 1996

Dax: Do you know how you got here?

Gadget: We went on a rescue mission to outer space. We were on our way to the MIR space station when we were sucked into something that looked like a vortex.

Sisko: Dax could it have been a wormhole?

Dax: It seems highly unlikely Ben. Wormholes are a shortcut through space. I don't think they could be a shortcut through time. And if this was a wormhole it would be a shortcut through space and time since they arrived in through the Bajoran wormhole.

Dale: OK. We told you about us. Now could you explain what the heck all this Federation and Bajoran stuff is about.

Sisko: We belong to Starfleet which is a branch of The United Federation of Planets. The Federation is made up of 102 planets. Humans and Aliens live together peacefully. We work together to better ourselves. We are explores.

Monterey Jack: Who are the Bajoran's? Are they part of the Federation ?

Sisko: The Bajoran's are a race that had their homeworld Bajor occupied by the Cardasian Union. The Bajoran's drove the Cardasians off their planet. This station was originally a Cardasian mining labor camp. The Bajoran Provisional Government asked Starfleet to come in and run the station. Slightly after Starfleet took command of this station a stable wormhole, the one you came through was discovered leading to the Gamma Quadrant. After the discovery of the wormhole Bajor became a major port for exploration and commerce. A few years after the discovery of the wormhole we had an encounter with the Dominion. We are currently at war with the Dominion. We just recently retook DS9. And successfully pushed the Dominion forces back to Cardasian territory. The Cardasians had allied themselves with the Dominion about a year ago.

Dax: Ben, I'm going to go a review the sensor logs of the wormhole maybe I can figure out what brought them here.

Sisko: Good you should also have the Chief tractor in the remains of the shuttle. Maybe we can find something from the remains.

Gadget: Our ship was destroyed?

Dax: Yes we detected a hull breach. We beamed you out a few seconds before it collapsed on itself.

Sisko: Doctor did you detect anything unusual when you scanned our visitors.

Bashir: . Huh I get to speak? About time. No Captain they check out fine.

[Sisko turns to the Rescue Rangers]

Sisko: Well I guess you pose no threat to the station. You are free to explore the station. You will be assigned quarters.

Chip: Wait one minute. Has anyone forgotten that we are stuck here. Hundreds of light years from home and 400 years in the future.

Sisko: Don't worry Mr. Maplewood our first priority is to get you home.

Spock: Why don't you just take the Defiant and slingshot around the sun and use time warp

Narrator: Because Spock if they did that this would be a very short story

Spock: A logical conclusion.

Chip: Well let's see what the 24th century has to offer.

Commercial Break

Narrator: Next time on The X-Files

Skinner: Scully Mulder I would like you to meet your new partner.

Scooby Doo: Rello Rully Rello Rulder

That's right Scooby Doo joins the X-Files. Here's a scene from the season premiere.

[We see Scooby and Mulder investigating a warehouse. Scooby sees a dead body and jumps into Mulder's arms.]

Scooby Doo: Relp Rulder Read man, Read man

Mulder: He's not a communist Scooby. He's dead.

End of Commercial

[We see the Rescue Rangers walking on the promenade]

Gadget: Golly this place is amazing.

Dale: Hey let's go into that place

Monterey Jack: Which one

Dale: The one called Quark's

Chip: You guys go wherever you want. I want to keep looking around

[All the Rangers except Chip go into Quark's. Chip heads off down the promenade. Now lets go see what is happening in Quark's.]

Dale: Wow look at this place

Gadget: There must be at least a dozen different alien races here.

Dale: Hey lets go over to a table.

[The Rescue Rangers heads over to a table. Quarks comes over and starts to talk to them]

Quark: I've never seen your type before. Are you from the Gamma Quadrant?

Gadget: Actually we are from Earth

Quark: Ahhh the Hu-Mans planet. Could I interest you in something to drink. We have plenty of Hu-Man beverages. Root beer, prune juice.

Monterey Jack: Since we're here we should try something new. What do most Starfleet officers drink?

Quark: Rahktagino

Gadget: What is a Rahktagino

Quark: It is a Klingon coffee

Dale: O.K lets have some Rahktaginos.

Gadget: Sounds good to me

Quark: O.K that's four Rahktaginos

Gadget: I still can't get over this place it is just so amazing.

Monterey Jack: I know what you mean Gadget luv all these different alien races the technology it is wonderful.

[The scent of cheese catches Monterey's attention. He goes into one of his cheese attacks and rushes over to a table where Science Ensign John Davidson is eating. Monterey quickly ate the food that was on the plate. The other Rangers rushed over]

Ensign Davidson: Hey you ate my gagh

Dale: Gagh?

Davidson: Yes My gagh.

Gadget: What is gagh?

Davidson: Gagh is Klingon Serpent Worms I had it made in a special cheese sauce. They were still alive and squirming.

Monterey Jack: Worms? Still alive? I think I'm going to be sick

Davidson: Hey don't bad mouth it. It tasted good didn't it?

Monterey Jack: I guess it was O.K. but just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.

Davidson: The secret is not to think about it. A lot of alien foods are quite delicious as long as you don't think of what you are eating.. I especially love Klingon food gagh, heat of targ. blood pie. Same with tube grubs. It may sound disgusting but they taste wonderful.

Gadget: What division of Starfleet are you in?

Davidson: I'm in the science department. I work with Dax. She's the one that got me interested in Klingon food in the first place. Speaking of which I have to get going my shift starts in 10 minutes. I guess I'll see you later.

Dale: Nice guy but he sure has a strange taste in food.

Gadget: Well Dale our food might seem just as strange to aliens of other races.

Dale: I guess your right but I still don't think I would like to eat Gagh

Monterey Jack: And I think I will be more careful with my cheese attacks while we are on this space station.

[Meanwhile in an unseen corner of the promenade a rift in time similar to the one in the first Terminator movie opens up. In a small charred crater in the floor is The Terminator He is hunched over buck naked. He gets up and walks toward Garaks tailor shop. Let's get back to Quark's]

Dale: Let's go and explore the rest of this station

Monterey Jack: Good I think I have had enough of 24th century cuisine for awhile

Gadget: Let's go find out where Chip is

[Meanwhile Worf is in his quarters on the Defiant. He is getting ready to go on duty. He is just about to leave his room but the comm beeps]

Worf: Yes what is it

Computer: Incoming message from Captain Picard

Worf: Put it through

[Picard appears on the small viewscreen in the wall]

Worf: Hello Captain

Picard Hello Worf I am contacting you to tell you that Wesley Crusher is coming to DS9 for a visit

Worf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Picard: My sentiments exactly

Worf: No please for the love of mike don't let him come here

Picard: Sorry he is coming on a personal matter I can't stop him. I just thought I would warn you.

[Worf is now whimpering like a baby]

Picard: Just make sure nothing happens to him. I have to keep my relation with Bev you know.

Worf:[Muttering] Yeah you get Bev while we get stuck with the little snot.

Picard: I'll pretend I didn't here that. Picard out

[Worf makes a certain hand gesture toward the screen. Worf finishes dressing and goes off to start his shift. Now let's go see what Chip is up to. Chip had been exploring the promenade when he ran into Odo. ]

Odo: So you're from 20th century Earth?

Chip: Yes, So you're in charge of security here?

Odo: Yes, I make sure that nothing gets smuggled in or off the station. I also keep an eye on Quark

Chip: Quark?

Odo: Quark is the local Barkeeper, Swindler, Con Artist, Liar, Thief, Cheat

Chip: Sounds like a real nice person

Odo: Quark is just a typical Ferengi

Chip: What is a Ferengi

Odo: Ferengi are a race of capitalistic, sexist, opportunistic beings. They have nothing against cheating, lying, or stealing to make profit.

Chip: Sounds like he would love the 20th century. He would fit in perfectly.

Odo: Well Ferengi are short with gigantic ears. I doubt that it would be easy for him to fit in to normal earth society.

Chip: Odo how well do you know your Earth history. Ever hear of Ross Perot?

[Meanwhile in one of the engineering sub system conduits Chief Miles O'Brien and Engineering Ensign Karen Mollett are working on the main interface connectors.]

O'Brien: Do you have the main interface quasimetric field stabilizer attached to the ODN power converter with the anti phased kryptonite leads?

Mollett: Yes, but how do I get them to align up to the phase field frequency of 867-5309?

O'Brien: You use the Jenny stabilization method.

Mollett: What about the old Cardassian subsystems?

O'Brien: Bloody Cardasians using that Apple garbage in their technology. Well just bypass it with the adamantium ODN cables.

Mollett: OK Chief

[At that instant O'Brien is surrounded by a blue light and is replaced with Sam Beckett form Quantum Leap]

Sam: Oh Boy

Mollett: Chief have you been possessed again?

Sam: Uh I guess

Mollett: Mollett to OPS the Chief has been possessed again

Sisko's voice: You know the drill

Mollett: Aye Captain. Come on whoever you are we are going to pay a visit to sickbay

Sam: Uh okay.

[The rest of the Rescue Rangers are just leaving Quark's when they run into Worf]

Worf: Tribbles!

[Worf pulls out his phaser and starts firing at the Rescue Rangers]

Dale: Yikes run!

Gadget: Who is this guy?

Worf: Die Tribbles Die

Monterey Jack : I don't know but he doesn't seem very friendly.

[Zipper is buzzing around trying to get Worf's attention. He does and Worf starts firing at him. Nailing lot's of innocent bystanders.]

Worf: Worf hate fly's too

[By this time Command Ensign Chris Malachite comes over and stops Worf]

Malachite: No, Worf Bad

Worf: They are Tribbles they must be eliminated

Malachite: No Worf they are not Tribbles

Worf: Not Tribbles?

Malachite: Yes, Worf they are not Tribbles

Worf: I made a big boo-boo

Malachite: Yes you did now go run along and be a good Klingon

Worf: Okay

Gadget: Who was that guy

Malachite: That was Worf the only Klingon in Starfleet.

Dale: So that what a Klingon looks like.

Monterey Jack: What about all the people he shot?

Malachite: Don't worry the are only stunned and a medical team is already on their way

[As if on cue Dr. Bashir comes running up with a medical team]

Bashir: What happened here?

Malachite: Worf went crazy and started to shot up the place

Bashir: Again? He gets on my nerves first he moves in on Dax now he starts blasting everything in sight.

Malachite: Uh Doctor Shouldn't you be getting those people to the infirmary?

Bashir: Thanks for reminding me

Malachite: Are you guys OK?

Gadget: Just a little shaken

Dale: He called us Tribbles what is a Tribble?

Malachite: Tribbles are a small fur covered animal. They eat lot's of food and multiply at an accelerated rate.

Dale: Oh but why did he try to fry us?

Malachite: Klingons and Tribbles are mortal enemies.

Dale: Why would the Klingons be enemies with a Tribble they sound harmless.

Malachite: Well they are Klingons. And it is a very long story.  
[At that moment Odo and Chip come running up to the group]

Odo: What's going on I heard phaser fire.

Malachite: Worf got trigger happy again

Odo: I thought I told him there are no weapons permitted on the Promenade. No exceptions.

[At that moment Garak comes over to Odo]

Garak: Excuse me Constable but I would like to report a robbery.

Odo: What was stolen

Garak: A large naked man walked into my shop he phasered me. When I came to I discovered my collection of twentieth century clothing was missing. He took A large black leather jacket, blue jeans, boots, sunglasses, and a white T-shirt.

Odo: Any specific reason he would steal those particular clothes?

Garak: None that I can think of. They weren't worth very much.

Odo: Well I will look into it.

Garak: I'm sure you will Constable. Now if you will excuse me I have a lunch date with Dr. Bashir

Odo: Well since everything is O.K. here I'll be leaving

Malachite: I had better get going to. I have to get to OPS.

Dale: Well that was interesting.

Gadget: Who was that you were with Chip?

Chip: That was Constable Odo he in charge of security on the station.

Monterey Jack: What were you two doing?

Chip: We were just talking. He told me about some of the mysteries he has worked on. I told him about the Rescue Rangers. Then he told me about the Dominion and the Founders.

Dale: Found Who?

Chip: Founders!

Gadget: Who are the Founders?

Chip: Sit down this is going to be a long story.

Commercial Break

Narrator: Coming to a theater near you Star Trek V the Special Edition. We promise if you hated and despised Star trek V. This movie will explain why that movie was so stupid Here is a clip from the movie.]

Kirk: OOHHHHHHHHH man what a hang over

Spock: It is not logical that my heads hurts so bad

McCoy:[Holding up a bottle] Last time I use this stuff in beans.

Kirk: I had the most idiotic and stupid dream

Spock: I also had a weird dream. In my dream I had a half-brother who took over the Enterprise

McCoy:[Running toward the stream] Gonna lose it

Kirk:[Running behind McCoy]Wait for me!

Spock: A most illogical movie

Narrator: Yes the entire movie was just a dream. So please come and see Star Trek V The Special Edition. We have to make at least some money off this piece of crap.

End Commercial Break

[We are looking at Deep Space Nine from the outside]

Sisko's voice: Captains log Stardate 5179.9 We have just received an incoming message from Starfleet command. It seems that there are anomalies popping up all over the place. On Earth for example two men appeared wearing black suits. They said their names were Jay and Kay. And someone calling himself the Devourer of Worlds is threatening Vulcan. As for the situation on the station things are getting stranger. Ensign Sara Connor was found dead in her quarters. She was killed with twentieth century firearms. As for our guests the Rescue Rangers they seem to be enjoying their stay on the station. On a final note when a civilian craft docked with the station. Worf started to shout, "He's here that miserable little snot is here" The only person who boarded the station was Wesley Crusher son of Dr. Beverly Crusher of the Enterprise. I wonder why Worf was so agitated.

[Now we are in the infirmary where Miles O'Brien is being examined by Dr. Bashir. But we know that it is not O'Brien but really Sam Beckett

Bashir: So what did you say your name is?

Sam: Dr. Sam Beckett

Bashir: And what are you doing in the Chief's body Mr. Beckett?

Sam: I am a time traveler. I leap into different people's bodies.

Bashir: And why have you leaped into the Chief's body?

Sam: I don't know

Bashir: Ahh I don't know. And how long do you expect to be in the Chiefs body?

Sam: Until I do something

Bashir: Do what?

Sam: I don't know

[At that moment Wesley Crusher comes wandering into sickbay]

Wesley: Hey Doctor whatcha doing

Bashir: Who the hell are you?

Wesley: I'm Wesley Crusher and if you talk to me again like that I'll tell my mother.

Bashir: Ohh and who is your mother?

Wesley: My mother is Beverly Crusher she works on the Enterprise. She is a Doctor too.

Bashir: Big deal

[At that moment Al appears through his white doorway]

Sam: Al it is about time you got here.

Bashir: Al? I don't see anyone

Wesley: I do I do look at that man in the red suit.

Al: You can see me?

Wesley: Yes I can. Man where did you get that suit. You dress worse than Q.

Al: Who is Q?

Wesley: Never mind. Hey what is that thing you are holding?

[Wesley walks over and takes Al's handlink from him. He starts pressing buttons. Al appears and disappears all around the room.]

Al: Stop…that…you…little…son…of…a…

[Sam walks over and smacks Wesley]

Sam: Stop that you little snot

Al: Thanks Sam.

Bashir: Now who is this Al person?

Sam: Al is a person who lives in my own time. He communicates to me via a hologram that is set to my specific brain waves.

Bashir: Well why could Wesley see you?

Sam: Al can sometimes also be seen by animals and small children.

Bashir: That explains a lot. A hologram you say? I wonder? Computer activate the EMH

EMH: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Bashir: Can you see any other holograms in this room.

EMH: If you are referring to the gentleman in the red suit. Then the answer is yes.

Wesley: Oh boy the EMH I read all about you.

EMH: And who might you be young man?

Wesley: I'm Wesley Crusher

EMH: Wesley Crusher son of Doctor Beverly Crusher one of the doctors used in my program

Wesley: Then you know I am smart.

Sam: I don't know why but I have the urge to say SHUT UP WESLEY!

[In OPS Sisko is awaiting the return of Kira from a mission in the Delta Quadrant]

Sisko: It's about time she showed up we are eleven pages into this story

[The wormhole opens up and the Defiant comes flying out. The port side of the Defiant was scorched. And the phasers were smoking]

Sisko: Man it looks like the Major had a fun time

Ensign Nameless: We're being hailed by Major Kira

Sisko: Well by all means put her on screen

Ensign Nameless: Aye

[Kira appears on the viewscreen]

Sisko: Well how did things go

Kira: We totally kicked their butt's

Sisko: Did you run into anything strange or unusual while you were out

Kira: Now that you mention it we did run into a smaller ship. It was unlike anything we ever saw before

Sisko: Was there anybody onboard?

Kira: Yes we rescued a man called Darth Vader and he wants to speak to you.

Sisko: When you dock have him escorted to my office

Kira: Aye sir

[Later is Sisko's office.]

Sisko: Hello I am Captain Sisko

D.V: And I am Darth Vader. Dark lord of the Sith

Sisko: Cool

D.V: Yes I Know

Sisko: So what were you doing in the Gamma Quadrant?

D.V: I don't know the last thing I remember was my idiotic wingman ran into me Then a big hole opened up in space and I was sucked in.

Sisko: Do you have any idea where you are at?

D.V: No, But I can sense a great disturbance in the force

Sisko: The what?

[Well Darth Vader goes on and explains all about the force to Sisko. Since I assume everyone out there knows what the force is I won't force you to listen to the conversation. After Darth Vader finishes explaing about the force Sisko contacts Ensign Lundsmark to Escort Vader to Science lab 1.]

Lundsmark: Ensign Lundsmark reporting as ordered sir.

Sisko: Good please escort Mr. Vader here to Science Lab 1

D.V: Please call me Dark Lord of the Sith

Sisko: Ensign Lundsmark please escort The Dark Lord of the Sith to Science Lab 1

D.V: That's better

Lundsmark: Aye Sir

[Lundsmark and Vader are walking toward Science Lab 1]

Lundsmark[Whispering] This is CNN

D.V: What did you say?

Lundsmark: Nothing at all [Whispering] Simba remember who you are

D.V: You're pushing your luck little man

[At that moment Ensign Malachite comes storming out of a restaurant. We hear a person shouting at him from inside the restaurant]

Man's Voice: No soup for you. Come back one year.

Malachite: Where are you going?

Lundsmark: I'm escorting Mr….

D.V. Ahem

Lundsmark: I'm escorting The Dark Lord of the Sith to Science Lab 1

Malachite: Mind if I join you? I have to be there in five minutes anyway.

D.V. It's OK with me

Lundsmark: Sure the more the merrier

Malachite[Whispering] This is CNN

D.V: I wish I never took that job.

[The Rescue Rangers are walking along on the promenade. When Ensign Hollingshead approaches them.]

Hollingshead: Hello you must be the Rescue Rangers

Gadget: How did you know who we were?

Hollingshead: The Captain briefed my about you

Gadget: Oh

Chip: What do you want?

Hollingshead: The Captain wants you to report to Science Lab 1

Dale: Where is that?

Hollingshead: Follow me. I have to reprt there too

[Ensign Hollingshead them to Science Lab 1. Meanwhile Ensign Mollett is crawling through the Jefferies tubes]

Mollett: Great O'Brien gets taken over by a time traveler and I get stuck doing his duties.

[She hears a mysterious sound in the tubes ahead of her. And Karen having seen Star Trek: First Contact goes on the defense.]

Mollett: That had better not be a Borg.

[She pulls out a Phaser and set's it at level 16 and moves forward through the tube]

Mollett: Who's there?

Narrator: Never say "who's there" it's a death wish. You might as well go and investigate a strange noise.

Mollett: Oh great now you tell me. I'm halfway through the tube now.

[She rounds the corner and to her relief it's not a Borg. Instead it is police officer John McClane.]

McClane: Huh What is going on. This isn't Nacatomi

Mollett: Now this is just plain stupid.

Narrator: What do you mean?

Mollett: Just because he crawled around in the ventilation shafts in the movie doesn't mean I have to meet him in the Jefferies tubes.

Narrator: Well I thought it was a good idea. If you like I could turn him into a Borg] Mollett: No just send him back.

Narrator: I guess your right. [McClane vanishes]

Mollett: Thanks now what do I do?

Narrator: Head for Science Lab 1 I want to get all the characters together in one place

Mollett: Now that's a good idea

[Mollett heads off to Science Bay 1 Meanwhile on the Promenade The Terminator is walking around. Just so you know I haven't forgotten about him. Now let's get to Science Lab the main character of this story so far are in the room.]

Sisko: So does anyone have any ideas to what might be causing all these temporal anomalies.

D.V: I sense a great disturbance in the force.

Sisko: You already said that

D.V: Sorry

Sisko: Wait I think I know what might be causing all this mess

Everybody: Well we're waiting

Sisko: Q!

[ Q appears in a flash of light wearing nothing but a shower cap. He is surrounded by a shower of water. In his right hand he is holding a long handled brush.]

Q: You Federation people really have bad timing

Females: Whoaaaaaaaaaa

Males: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Q: Perverts

[Q snaps his fingers and is now wearing a pink leisure suit.]

Q: Now what do you want I have a date tonight

Sisko: Are you the one behind these time space distortions

Q: No way that would be a stupid cop out a narrator would use instead of coming up with an original idea. Trust me the Narrator who is writing this story is very creative. So he won't even let me give you cryptic clues to what is going on. So if you don't mind I have to get going

[ Q vanishes]

Gadget: Who was that

Sisko: That was Q

Chip: He looked very familiar

Dale: DeJuvu

Sisko: OK well if it is not Q what could it be?

Chip: We need a plan to figure this out

Sisko: Sounds good. Who are the smart people here

[Gadget, Sam, Dax, and Wesley raise their hands]

Sisko: You people try to figure out a way to fix these temporal anomalies.

Gadget: Good let's get to work

Monterey Jack: What do the rest of us do?

Worf: Probably wait until the Narrator thinks of something

[Gadget, Dax and Wesley stay in the Lab while the rest leave]

Dax: OK First I think we should examine these test results from the wormhole I believe it is the center of the problem

Sam: Sounds like a good idea

Gadget: So if we can isolate the exact conditions in the Wormhole when the anomalies happened we might be able to see a pattern

Dax: You read my mind

Gadget: Hey Wes can you hand be that Tricorder

Wesley: Sure

[Wesley picks up the Tricorder and is knocked to the ground be an electrical bolt.]

Dax: Opps somebody must have left the power cell uncovered.

Gadget: Yes someone must of.

[Dax and Gadget break into hysterical laughter.]

Sam: I know tormenting Wesley is fun but we have to seriously get to work.

Dax: The little snot is asking for it.

Gadget: I'm usually not the violent type but when Wesley is around I just want to slap him silly.

Dax: I know what you mean. He can be so annoying always being a little show off.

Gadget: Well maybe we should get to work. The sooner we get this done the sooner I can get away from Wesley.

Sam: Me to I don't care if I leap into a chimp again as long as I don't have to put up with that little S.O.B

[At that instant Al appears]

Al: Sam, Ziggy says that there is a 90% chance that you are here to kick the crap out of Wesley Crusher. And a 10% chance to help stop these temporal anomalies

Sam: Well then maybe I should beat up Wesley

Gadget: Are you talking to Al again?

Sam: Yes he just told be that there is a high chance that I am here to beat up Wesley

Wesley: Oh S***

Dax: By all means go ahead

Sam: O.K.

[Sam starts to beat up Wesley. Wesley tries to squirm away but Dax blocks his path Within a few minutes Wesley is beat into a bloody pulp}

Al: Sam you did it you're about to leap out of here

Sam: But what about the people here they need my help

Al: You haven't been much help yet Gadget and Dax have been doing all the work. I wouldn't mind them working on me'

Sam: AL!

Gadget: What did he say

Sam: Something very disgusting and perverted. He also said I will be leaping any minute now so bye.

Gadget: Good luck getting home

Dax: Bye Sam

[Sam leaps out of O'Brien]

O'Brien: About time I got back that waiting room was pretty boring. Well I'm going to go and find Julian Hey what happened to Wesley

Dax: Sam beat him up when he was in your body

O'Brien: Aww man I wished I got do that I always wanted to

Dax: Nobody's stopping you If anyone asks I'll just say that Sam was still in your body

O'Brien: Really, Cool I'll just take him with me

[ O'Brien drags Wesley out of Science Lab 1]

Dax: Now that they are gone we can get back to work

Gadget: Good, I have an idea if we can somehow find a connection to each displaced person and there original timeline or dimension maybe we can find some way to send them back.

Dax: Like snapping a rubber band

Gadget: Exactly. Scan me with that Tricorder and see if there are any anomalous readings.

Dax: Okay Everything seems to be normal…wait a minute there is a small trace of chronometric particles in your cells nuclei.

Gadget: Good that's a start. Now we can start on coming up with a solution

Dax: But that still doesn't explain what caused these anomalies to happen in the first place.

Gadget: Well how often do weird temporal anomalies happen here?

Dax: They used to happen almost every other episode for the first season. Then once we introduced the Dominion we had no more need for those plotlines.

Gadget: Maybe if we had more weird plotlines our show would have lasted longer

Dax: Don't worry maybe people will realize what a great show it was and make movies and spin-offs based on it.

Gadget: Hopefully

Sisko's Voice: RED ALERT

Gadget: Communists! Where?

Dax: Not that type of red

[At that moment Chekov walks into the room]

Dax: Maybe I was wrong. Chekov what are you doing here?

Chekov: I just had to say Rescue Rangers was a wussian idea

Dax: No it wasn't. You say everything was made in Russia

Sisko's Voice: RED ALERT All personal report to battle stations

Gadget: What's going on?

Dax: I don't know. Follow me we're going to OPS

[In OPS Where the command crew of DS9 and the Rescue Rangers are]

Sisko: Captains log Stardate 45204.5 The day I have dreaded for six years has finally arrived…..Hey wait a minute this isn't my script

[Sisko Runs off to get the correct script.]

Chip: She cannae take much more Captain…. What my script is messed up to

Gadget: Fascinating…I mean Golly all our scripts are switched.

Sisko: Who votes that we get a new Narrator?

All: Aye

Narrator: Ohh Shut Up

Worf: If you were any other man I would kill you where you stand

Narrator: To bad I'm sitting down

Worf: Arggghhh

O'Brien: What did you call the red alert for Captain

Sisko: Take a look. Ensign Hollingshead turn on the main viewer

Hollingshead: Aye

[The main viewer comes on and there is nothing but a star field ]

Bashir: There's nothing there

Sisko: I know

Dax: You called us here for nothing?

Sisko: Does anybody notice anything missing?

Kira: Oh my Bajor is gone

Sisko: Exactly

Worf: How could a planet just disappear

Sisko: Maybe it has to with these time anomalies

Hollingshead: Wait a minute Bajor is still there someone just had the camera pointed the wrong way

Worf: Whoever did it had no honor they must die

Chip: Is that all you think about killing people?

Worf: You have dishonored me for that you must die

[Worf pulls out a Bat'Leth and starts to chase Chip around OPS]

Sisko: Mr. Worf please the Rescue Rangers our are friends

Worf: But sir he dishonored me

Sisko: Frankly Worf, I don't give a damn

Bashir: I have had enough of this Klingon barbarian

[He sedates Worf]

Sisko: Thank you Doctor

Bashir No Problemo

[On the promenade Darth Vader runs into the Terminator. The Terminator pulls out a shotgun and starts shooting at Darth Vader. Darth Vader ignites his lightsaber and deflects the bullets. He then chops of the Terminators head ala Highlander]

Darth Vader: There can be only one

Terminator's head: I'll be back

Darth Vader: Now to the Quark's where I will use the Force to win at the Dabo wheels.

[Back at OPS]

Sisko: So Dax have you and Miss Hackwrench found a way to correct these temporal anomalies?

Dax: Well we have a theory now all we have do is find a way to make it work.

Sisko: Good, get back to work.

Dax: aye, Captain

Sisko: Good

Dale: Uh what's that

Sisko: What's what

Dale:[Pointing at the view screen] THAT!

[Evreybody turns to the viewcreen to see a Borg ship floating toward the station

Sisko: THE BORG

Kira Oh &$$**#()&*()%^&$*(^*%&$&*)^)^&$^&%#*&%*&^$&#()&#()$%&(*

O'Brien: Whoa those Bajoran's really know how to swear all's I know is %^* and )$*

Bashir: You are forgetting *$&#($* _+#

O'Brien: Thank for reminding me

Chip: Just who are the Borg

Sisko:[Sounding like Kirk] They….killed…..my…..wife

Gadget: But who are they

[Gadget doesn't get a chance to get her question answered because the Borg hail the station]

Borg: We are the Borg Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

Gadget: That doesn't sound good

Sisko: Those dirty *&*&$# ( killed my wife

Chip: Who wrote this script Denis Miller?

Gadget: So what do we do about the Borg?

O'Brien: Run away like little sissy girl?

Dax: We call Picard?

Sisko: Picard! He also killed my wife

Dale: I thought the Borg killed his wife

O'Brien: Picard was assimilated for a short time. The Borg used his knowledge to kick the Federations butt's at Wolf 359

[At the moment the Enterprise E comes out of warp]

Monterey Jack: Crickey look at the size of that ship

Dale: We're saved!

[The Enterprise makes a major turn and starts to head for Bajor.]

Kira: What's going on?

Dax: Ensign Hollingshead hail the Enterprise

Hollingshead: Aye, sir

[Troi appears on the viewscreen she's at the navigation controls with a bottle of Tequila in her hand]

Troi: Hello (Hic) pretty people. I'm (Hic) flying the ship

O'Brien: She's drunk

Sisko: Ever since she went back in time she has been the Federations biggest alcoholic

Troi: Look at the pretty planet. I think I will crash into those pretty mountains

[Troi crashes the Enterprise right into a big mountain]

O'Brien: That's the second Enterprise she's wrecked. crazy woman flyers

Gadget: Hey watch it

O'Brien: The first time she gets to sit at the Navigation station on the Enterprise D she crashed it. Back when I didn't have a name I sat at the Navigation controls and never crashed.

Sisko: Let's stop pointing fingers. The Borg are still there.

O'Brien: The Borg are firing at us. Direct hit on the outer docking rind

[Everybody is thrown around in different directions. A few control panels explode killing nameless Ensigns. Ensign Hollingshead breaths a sigh of relief realizing how lucky he is to have a name.]

Sisko: Of course we have been hit. It's pretty hard not to hit a stationary target you twit.

Borg Resistance is futile. You we will be assimilated.

Chip: Resistance is futile? Assimilation? Sounds like Microsoft

Sisko: [Trance like voice] Microsoft is good

Chip: What?

Sisko: All Federation computers run on Windows 2395. Microsoft is good, Microsoft is great, Bill Gates is our friend

All Federation Personal: Yes Bill Gates is our friend, Microsoft is good, Microsoft is great.

[The Borg start to appear on the station assimilating everyone in sight. Sisko runs into his office and comes out a few minutes later wearing a trenchcoat and dark sunglasses. He is also holding a 357 Magnum He runs around killing all the Borg]

Dale: I knew he was Hawk

Dax: Yep he's in Hawk mode all right

Sisko: Gonna kill you all man. Gonna put a cap in your #&$

Borg: Resistance is oh !?#$ it's Hawk. Run away run away

[The remaining Borg transport of the station and the Borg cube hi tails it back to the Delta Quadrant]

Bashir: Now how do we get him back to normal?

Dax: We just wait until it wears off

Chip: This place gets stranger by the minute

Dax: You should be here during sweeps week.

Sisko: Gonna go and blow some crooks away

Odo: I had better keep an eye on him

[Sisko and Odo leave]

Worf:[Wakes up] Ugh I feel so groggy

Kira: Shut up forehead boy

Worf: Oh yeah Who does your nose Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon?

[Worf and Kira start beating the crap out of each other. All while carrying on a conversation between the blows]

Kira A am a Bajoran resistance fighter we never give up

Worf: And I am a Klingon warrior!

Kira: A warrior my butt

Worf: I delivered Chief O'Brien's baby

Kira: Well I carried their second baby. It was a plot device to cover up my real-life pregnancy with Alexander

Worf: Who?

Kira: The Doctor

EMH: You called?

Kira: Not you get your sorry butt back to Voyager. I meant Doctor Bashir

[Everybody looks at Bashir with surprisement. He simply blushes]

Chip: Gadget please hurry up and get us home I don't think I can take much more of this. These people are driving my nut's

Jake: And now it is time for my once a season appearance. Hi people now I have to go see you next season.

Quark: And even though the Federation is at war and we are living in the most crucial area I can walk right into the Stations nerve center without any security checks.

Wesley: And I am so smart and annoying

All: SHUT UP WESLEY!

Dax: Come on Gadget let's get back to work we've just about got this thing solved

Gadget: Good, anything to get away from these lunatics

Kira: I know let's go and blow stuff up

Worf: And kill lot's of people

O'Brien: Yeah kill the Cardies

Dale: I thought you were supposed to be at peace?

Worf: If you want to sit around all day ad discuss the moral implications of your every action go and visit Picard. He never let me kill or blow stuff up. This is Deep Space Nine the dark side of the Federation

Kira: Hey I know! How would you Rescue Rangers like to go on an away mission

Dale: What's that

Kira: We all go to weird place. And meet strange aliens

Dale: Sounds like fun

Kira: Cool I'll get some Ensigns to take along

Mollett: Can we go

Lundsmark: Yeah I haven't been on an away team in a long time

Malachite: It will be cool to see some new aliens

Hollingshead: Please Major can we go

Kira: Sorry I already know who I'm taking. Ensigns Redshirt, Nameless, Asgoodasdead, Gonnadie, and Deadmeat

Malachite: Oh well I call dibbs on Ensign Redshirt's quarters. It has a great view of the wormhole

Mollett: I get Deadmeat's quarters

Lundsmark: You're sick. There not even dead yet.

Hollingshead: At least wait until there dead before you move in. And once there dead I get Gonnadies's quarters

Kira: I'll take you guys on a nice quiet away mission on Risa OK?

[All the Ensigns appear very pleased that they are going to Risa.]

Kira: Let's go

Chip: To where?

Kira: The away mission is to a ship that we found drifting through the wormhole. Come on to the transporters

[On the alien ship the away team just materialized.]

Chip: Whoa that was weird

Monterey Jack: These transporter things are marvelous

Dale: Cool let's do that again

Kira: Later let's explore this ship. Ensign Nameless turn on the lights

[Ensign Nameless hits the switch and it explodes killing him.]

Kira: That's one

Chip: Does that happen on all away missions

Kira: Yes all the Ensigns usually get killed

[They hear a strange noise down one of the corridors]

Kira: Come on follow me

[They all go towards the direction of the noise]

Gonnadie: Gee I think I'll explore this other dark tunnel all by myself

[He walks down the other tunnel. The sounds of screaming and ripping of flesh can be heard.]

Kira: That's two

Chip: Hey what's that thing up ahead

Dale: It looks like some kind of egg

Kira: Don't get to close that's what the Ensigns are for

[They walk up to an egg lying in a type of slime]

Deadmeat: I'll check it out

[He walks up to it. It opens up and a face hugger jumps out and attached itself to his face]

Deadmeat: Off get it off of me

Kira: Eww What is that thing

Dale: It looks like a lobster

Deadmeat: Ohh my throat it stuck something in my throat

[The face hugger detaches itself and dies]

Monterey Jack: What the heck was that thing?

Kira: I don't know.

Redshirt: Oh well even though we lost two people already and we have run into an unknown alien let's continue to explore

Kira: Fine by me

[Half an hour later they are still exploring. Ensign Redshirt was killed when he decided to go off exploring on his own.]

Deadmeat: ohh I feel like I have a stomachache

Chip: What's wrong?

Deadmeat: I don't know feel so strange. Argghh

[He falls top the floor grabbing his chest He lays there going into convulsions. After a few seconds of that an Alien bursts through his chest]

Alien: Arghhhh

Dale: Ahhhhhhhhhh

Chip:Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Monterey Jack: Ahhhhhhhhh

Kira: That's four

Asgoodasdead: There it goes running off into the corridors

[The Rescue Rangers stare at what is left of Ensign Deadmeat. Then they turn and vomit]

Kira: Bunch of sissies

Ripley: Hey about time some other people showed up I was getting bored

Kira: Get out of here there is only room for one tough as nails female warrior in this parody and it's me

Ripley: I don't think

Kira: Let's ask the Narrator

Narrator: Cat Fight, Cat Fight

Ripley: If I ever find you I will kill you

Narrator: Hey Ripley look behind you

[Ripley turns around and an Alien is standing there before she has a chance to react it shreds her into tiny pieces sending tons of blood and guts spattering everywhere. ]

Chip: I don't think I can take much more of this

Dale: I think I've permanently lost my appetite.

[The Alien and Kira both look at Ensign Asgoodasdead impatiently]

Asgoodasdead: Well here it goes. Stand back Major I'll handle this

[Asgoodasdead steps bravely forward to face the Alien and is killed immediately. He Rescue Rangers now look very pale and faint. They are covered in blood.]

Chip: And then there were none

Kira: OK we better go now. We lost all the Ensigns

Chip: What? Is that the only reason you came here I though you were explorers

Kira: No that's the Federation I'm a Bajoran I don't give a damn about exploring I just want bloodshed

Dale: This 24th century gets less appealing by the minute.

Kira: If you don't like it you can leave it

Chip: That's what we plan to do

Kira: I'll never understand you humans. I remember when I visited Earth's past it was filled with lot's of weirdoes

Monterey Jack: You visited Earth's past?

Kira: It's a long story but I did visit I think it was the 1960's the people there were weird.

Chip: They all were

Kira: Kira to Deep Space nine beam us back

[They are beamed back to DS9 leaving the bodies of the dead Ensigns behind. Even though they were Starfleet personal they were only Ensigns and don't deserve proper funerals. Those are reserved for officers.]

Commercial break

Announcer: Premiering this week a whole new Star Trek Series. Star Trek The Next Next Generation. Join Captain Barclay on the Enterprise-G. Boldly going where hundreds have gone before. See old and recycled plot lines form the other series. Here is a scene from the premiere episode. Encounter at Closepoint

R: We destroyed the Q years ago Now we get to put humanity on trial. You must Solve the mystery of Closepoint Station

Barclay: Commander Nog Let's just blow the hell out of it

Nog: But sir..what about the trial?

Barclay: Who are we kidding. Humans are a violent and savage race. Let's go out with a bang

End Commercial

[In Science Lab 1 Gadget and Dax have just solved the Temporal Anomalies. The other Rescue Rangers have just arrived]

Gadget: What happened to you guys?

Chip: We went on an away mission to an unknown vessel

Chekov: Don't you mean wessel?

Chip: No a vessel.

Dale: A commie!

Monterey Jack: The red menace

Gadget: Will you please knock it off with the Communist jokes

Narrator: Why are you sticking up for him?…..You must be a Communist

Gadget: This is McCarthyism

Narrator: Joseph McCarthy a great man. One of my personal heroes

Dax: I hate to interrupt this little discussion but we just figured out how to send everybody home.

Chip: Good

Dale: Yippe

Monterey Jack: Whoo-Hoo

Dax: There is just one little problem we still don't know what originally caused them. We should find that out before we attempt to fix anything.

[The female Changeling walks into the room]

F.C: I did it

Dax: What are you doing here.[Taps Comm badge] Dax to Odo get here now

F.C: I'm just dropping in to see some old friends. I brought them here.

Gadget: How do you know us we never meet you before.

F.C: But You do know me maybe this will remind you

[She shape shifts into Lawhiny]

F.C: Now do you remember me?

Chip: You're a shapeshifter?

F.C: Of course why do you think I looked like Gadget?

Gadget: But why?

F.C: Since we were unable to in the war with the Alpha Quadrant right away we decided to go back in time and conquer Earth when it was easier. Then we would have ruled the Alpha Quadrant

Dax: That's original…not

F.C: We would have succeeded if you did not ruin our plans

Gadget: Well we did.

F.C: But now it's pay back time.

Odo: I don't think so

[The female Changeling reverts back to her normal shape]

F.C: You wouldn't think of hurting one of your own kind

Odo: I did it before. I'll do it again.

[He pulls out a saltshaker and throws it at her. She screams and starts to harden she tries to walk forward but her leg snaps off. He then pushes her over and she shatters into a million pieces.]

Chip: Good now let's go home

[Runabout pad 1]

Sisko: Well we just sent Darth Vader back and fixed all the other Anomalies now it's your turn.

Gadget: Well it's been pretty interesting

Chip: And pretty strange

Dale: And pretty weird

Monterey Jack: And Pretty fun, but we can't wait to get home

Gadget: But our shuttle was destroyed.

Sisko: We have taken care of that Chief if you will

O'Brien: We have built you a new shuttle

[He reveals a smaller version of a shuttle craft that was hidden behind a sheet.]

Gadget: Golly

Spock: Fascinating

Data: Intriguing

Sulu: Oh Myyy

Sisko: It should be able to get you home in one piece. Consider it on loan

Chip: Thank You

Dale: Well goodbye

[The Rescue Rangers board there new shuttle]

Gadget: This is amazing

Dale: Cool

[They each take a seat]

Gadget: Hang on here we go

[The shuttle leaves the docking bay and heads for the wormhole]

Gadget: OK Dax hit it

Dax's voice: OK here it goes

[A red ray emits form DS9 and hits the wormhole it opens up. The red ray was a tachyon beam which would snap the Rescue Rangers back tot heir own time. The Rangers shuttle enters the wormhole. A few seconds later the wormhole closes.]

Sisko: Now what do we do?

Kira: Go and kick some Jem'Haddar #?

All: Yeah

[All the main DS9 characters run toward Defiant's docking port]

[Earth, 1996. A wormhole opens up and the Rangers shuttle comes out. They dock at the MIR station and rescue Pavels father.]

Chip: There now we can finally head for Earth

Dale: Hey what's that

[Dale is pointing out the window at the USS Voyager]

Gadget: According to the ship's sensors it is the USS Voyager believed to have been destroyed

Chip: I don't care after what we saw on DS9 I'm afraid to even think what might be on that ship. Who knows the chef might try to cook us

Dale: Or the helmsman could turn into a lizard and try to eat Zipper

Gadget: Or there could be psychotic Chief Engineer who like to kill animals

Monterey Jack: Let's just forget about them and head for home

Gadget: I have a feeling that a forgot about something

Chip: It's probably nothing important.

Gadget: I guess your right if it was important I would of remembered it.

[In a cargo container on DS9]

Wesley: Please let me out I promise I will be good. It's dark and scary in here.

[The Ensigns here the noise and come to help. Each of them are carrying a lead pipe. They start to hit the cargo container as if it were a drum. Wesley can be heard screaming.]

Mollett: You made all of us look bad

Lundsmark: You little show off

Hollingshead: Yeah you little snot. Always acting so smug and superior

Malachite: Don't you understand nobody's likes you

Davidson: What are you going to do now Mr. Brainiac?

Wesley: I Want my Mommie!


End file.
